July 8, 2019 by maryruwe
The other day I was involved in a conversation about why a person “did this”. We were not being critical or judgmental, we were just trying to understand why some decisions were made; and come up with how the situation could be handled and how to help. However, to be very truthful with you, as in many cases, we don’t have to know the “why” a person did something so much as we need to know “how” to help them. The Word of God is always the greatest source of help and wisdom.
Relationships are sometimes tricky because most often one person is never responsible for all the decisions that lead to the problem; each person involved has their part. That’s why it’s so important for us to grow up and take responsibility for our own actions, words, and how we live. To come up with the right answer, we have to ask the right question.
Probably everyone can look back in their life and see where they could have made a better decision, but looking back won’t change that decision or the consequences from those decisions. The best we can do now is to understand how to deal with past decisions – and deal with them without regret, but believe and trust that God can bring good from it.
I’ve found in my own life the best way to deal with the “past” is to lay it before my Lord in prayer. (Trust me, everyone has some kind of past; whether its words spoken wrongly or something one’s done). I ask God to help me understand a situation and for wisdom to know what to do next. I ask about my responsibility in that situation and if I’ve made mistakes, I ask Him to forgive me. Sometimes He has also instructed me to go and ask the other person(s) to forgive me and sometimes He doesn’t.
What I’ve noticed a lot is that if a person is not willing to take their responsibility to correct a situation, they almost always feel that others are judging them, when in reality it is their own conscience judging them. They don’t take their responsibility and want to place the blame on others. Every person has a responsibility in a relationship and situation, and if one person isn’t willing to take their responsibility for their part, it is hard to bring a good solution to the situation. But God can always help the person willing to submit to Him deal with the circumstances. The key is to acknowledge what the Bible says about how to handle the situation. If you remember, Jesus handled every situation by doing the Father’s will.
Even in the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus asked His Father “if it were possible the let this cup pass from me”. Do we really think He wanted to die a horrible death on the Cross? (Matthew 26:29) When we turn our will over to His will, we begin to get insight about how to help bring a correct solution to a situation. I thank God that I’ve learned to pray the way Jesus would pray, and not necessarily the way I might want to pray. It’s better that way since He knows all things and I only know in part.
Because He knows each of us so intricately, and the wonderful plans He has for us, He knows best how to handle each situation. He knows how to reach down into our spirit, our emotions, and our thinking and reveal to us His plans and how to bring good out of each situation; no matter now bleak it may seem to us. So, to get to the right answers to any and all situations and problems we need to ask the right questions: What does the Bible say? What would Jesus have me do? It’s when we know these answers and believe and act on them that we give God the right to intercede and bring good out of the situation. (Romans 8:28)
When we get our emotions and thinking in line with God’s Word, we begin to see His answer to every situation and problem. When we line our heart up with His love then He is able to turn the hearts of those involved and bring success to everyone. It may not be the solution we initially hoped for (if our hopes were not righteous). However, the success that God wants to bring to each of us is for our heart and lives to be in agreement with His heart and the life He wants for us. That usually means that there is change that we need to make in our lives. Each person is responsible for allowing God to work in their heart, no one else!
So, for me, the right question most of the time, is asking God to show me how to help others, taking my responsibility, and not take on their responsibility, but doing my part to help them, as unto the Lord. In the Kingdom of God, one person’s success doesn’t over-shadow another’s success. Everyone is a success when each live according to the Word of God and fulfills the plans and purpose God has for them.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
James 1:5 – If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.